I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
