By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
