barbara walters just said penis...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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