Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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