I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
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