i think my tv is drunk
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize
