Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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