And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize