You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
