Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
