Kiss
Puke
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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