I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
