I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
