So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
