At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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