So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
