I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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