wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
