that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
