My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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