capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize