Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
This toilet bowl is my home.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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