This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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