I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
