She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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