dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
