he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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