you would pick up someone in the library
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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