The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize
