Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
