The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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