he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
