STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
