And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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