the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize