My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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