Me too!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize