last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
