I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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