they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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