Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
