You can't special order awesome
Everything about him screamed your future.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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