That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
