dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Found your dick twin last night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
