We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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