my soul wont recognize me after tonight
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
