can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
