didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
