New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
