jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
