we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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