Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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