I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
