My room smells like vodka and shame
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
