I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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