if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
What did we do last night that was yellow?
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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