do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
