i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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