I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
