At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
