you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
