based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Randomize
