Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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