Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
