I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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