Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
