If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
